Esther's Song

I want to thank everyone for your prayers, cards, texts, remembrance gifts, flowers, Facebook messages and love you have sent to us in our time of uncertainty and loss of Esther Jade. I can't describe right now what we are going through, as we are just going through it. Someday I will though. We laid Esther to rest yesterday in Babyland in Lynden. I felt anxious, sick and so very sad as we pulled into the cemetery. But as we walked over to the graveside I did feel a peace come over me. I think the anxiety was the unknown of what that experience was going to be like. We had to answer questions ahead of time about the service, and i didn't want to make the wrong decision. I wanted it to be so right. For Esther, to honor her. But how does one know what to do in that situation, one you have never been through before? We didn't. We just walked. Put one foot in front of the other and as we did, God's grace and peace and mercy met us there. That's what He does. We fear what we don't know, but the crazy and the thing that is so cool is that when we are actually in the situation that we feared, it is there that His presence meets us and we wonder why we were so fearful. I don't know if that makes sense, but that is what we experienced yesterday. Was it sad? Yes. But God is good. Am i sad? Yes. But God is faithful and walks with us through it. The sadness is there even though i believe everything about God to be true, and we do have hope. That has not changed, but it also doesn't take the sadness away. It will be there for a long time as we work through the loss of our firstborn, Esther Jade. I love the name of our daughter, even more and more everyday. Esther means Star, and as a dear friend wrote me, Esther has been our small but bright star guiding us on the journey to see Jesus through the eyes of sorrow. It is a picture that up until this point in my life, I have not seen. I also was looking online and found that Jade is the Stone of Heaven. That was again another gift from God.

My cousin Carissa is a gifted writer and wrote the most beautiful song for her. I can't get it out of my head. I hope you are blessed by it, and by Esther's life. We will never be the same....

Esther's Song

I wonder what you see, saints on bended knee,

singing Glory Hallelujah to the King?

Your little eyes behold the sight, God's great City dressed in Light,

and beauty beyond our imagining

We miss you precious jewel, shining star in our hearts

And we know because of God's great love, we'll never really be apart

Hallelujah, blessed be His Name,

Hallelujah, we'll never be the same

Hallelujah, blessed be His Name,

Hallelujah, we'll never be the same

I wonder what you smell, perfect daisies on a hill,

the aroma of purity and peace

Fragrant grass so sweet, is it tickling your feet,

or the freshness of a cool ocean breeze?

We miss you precious jewel, shining star in our hearts

And we know because of God's great love, we'll never really be apart

We miss you precious jewel, shining star in our hearts

And we know because of God's great love, we'll never really be apart

Hallelujah, blessed be His Name,

Hallelujah, we'll never be the same

Hallelujah, blessed be His Name,

Hallelujah, we'll never be the same

Hallelujah, praise the LORD

He's given us His Life a gift we never could afford

He's given us His Life a gift we never could afford

I wonder at the sound, when the saints all gathered 'round

And welcomed you to Heaven on that day

I wonder what you hear, when Jesus holds you near

And a million angels sing

And a million angels sing

When a million angels sing

Happy Birthday

~ Carissa Krause

"And we know because of God's great love, we'll never really be apart....." I am so thankful to God for sending His son Jesus to make a way for us to be with Him for eternity. Never more grateful than I am today, this season. We have hope. He is our Eternal hope. Pastor Kim shared at Esther's graveside yesterday: "She will be forever ours, and we will be forever hers." Thank you Jesus!