Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Adoption Update, and more!

Hey there!  So from the last time I posted, a lot has gone on!  I wanted to write as we went through this process, but it truly has gone fast!  I was meeting with a friend a few weeks ago, and she said, "you are writing all this down aren't you?" And i thought, yes, but then realized "no!" I hadn't because time goes by, and we are busy, and I have not taken the time, so tonight I am!

Really cool, "fingerprints of God" as we call them have happened throughout this process.  Currently, we are done with our home study, and are about to send it off to the agency!  We had to put together a life book as well, which is a photo book of pictures telling the potential birth mom  a bit of who we are.    I had only started putting this together, when I got a call from my cousin who lives in Seattle.  My parents had been at my uncles birthday party the weekend before, and told them that we were adopting.  Three days later my cousin got in touch with us, because a friend of hers had a daughter who was pregnant and going to give her baby up for adoption.  She told this birthmom about us and she wanted to see our profile.  What profile I thought?!  So I made a call to our attorney, our social worker, and started working feverishly on my lifebook!  (This was totally unrelated to the agency we are going through in Georgia.)  I got it done in a few days, sent it to a few people for their opinions, and after receiving positive feedback, I emailed the book off to the birthmom!  We weren't really sure about the whole thing, she had just recently decided to give her baby up for adoption, and didn't have any counseling to my knowledge. There were a lot of red flags, and many unknowns, but we felt we needed to push on this, perhaps open door.   Because I had hurried to get our life book done, I sent it off to our agency and asked if I needed to change anything.  The gal at the agency said it looked great and didn't need any changes!  I was so stoked, and sent it off to print and ordered my 25 copies to send to the agency.  So even though we found out last week, that this particular birth mom chose her brother and sister-in-law to adopt her baby, we had total peace in that!  God used that to expedite our home study and for me to finish up my life book!  So here we are and are just about finished with everything!!  And then we will wait.............

Here is the front cover of our life book!

We have had so many people praying for us.  I am thankful for God and his perfect timing.  I can almost see it!  I have felt like it is going to happen really soon, I'm not sure why?  Others have told me the same as they have prayed for us.  The home study process has been incredible as well.  I am so thankful and it was really neat reading through our home study, and that we really are ready to adopt.  We have been through so much, and reading our story, through the eyes of our adoption social worker, has been incredible to me.  So affirming, and we know without a doubt that this is where God has us, and is preparing a child to come into OUR family.  People have said that the adoption journey is so incredible, but until now, I have not known what they meant.  We have seen God move in us, and prepare our hearts.  We have taken online adoption classes that have shed so much light on bringing a child into our home and family!  So much I never knew.  We have seen God prepare us for this time, with my work with Young Life, and hanging out with kids for over 10 years.  Seeing the pain, and wanting to not only love them, but be a consistent presence in their lives.  Letting them know that they are important and valued, and that God has a purpose for their lives!  It really is the exact hope I have for whoever God brings into our family. That whoever God gives us the privilege to raise, would know this truth!  I know we have so much to learn, and it is going to be hard, but we are ready to give our lives away to a child(ren).  It is a little intimidating and scary, but we are open to adopting twins.  Being a twin myself, I never thought I wanted twins.  But throughout this process, our desire has been to be able to give a child(ren) a chance and taking in kids who need a good home!  This could be an opportunity to keep twins together in the same home, and THAT is something I am passionate about.  It breaks my heart to think that twins would ever be separated, because there is not a home for them!  So with that, we pray and wait and see what God has in store!  ( My mom and many others are praying for twins apparently:))

Life has been really good.  Busy...... Brian is building our new shop house, and I am working, as well as we are preparing to adopt!  We are seeing God as he walks with us and unfolds his plan, whatever that is and whatever the timing is.  It is so good.  My faith is being stretched.  I am praying more, digging into the Bible more, really desiring all God has for me.  I think sometimes I am fearful of what He may call me too, so I back off, and don't even ask him what he wants!!  I am committing to being in the Word, and falling more in love with Him!
At the end of December we lost Brian's awesome dad Henry.  He had suffered for 18 years with a blood disease that caused him pain and fatigue.  He just never felt good. He was ready to go, he was so tired.  We just never knew how or when it would happen.  The day after Christmas, he and Brian's mom Julia were headed to an appointment when Henry doubled over in pain.  They headed to the ER to figure out what was going on, and ultimately we knew this was the end. He had an enlarged spleen which was wreaking havoc on his body.  He just couldn't handle it anymore.  We were so grateful that the Lord took him quickly.  On December 28, 2013 he went home to be with Jesus.  We got to be there with him, and had some special moments together.  It still doesn't seem real, that he is gone.  I think it is because of the grace of Jesus that we make it through.  There are days Brian looks at the program from his dads service and says, "I can't believe my dad is gone."  We are grateful that he is not suffering anymore.  We were able to have a great time with the family when they all came back up. Celebrated Henry's life and how cherished and loved he was.  My sis in law Marianne had brought out the old slides from back in the day when Brian and his siblings were kids living on the farm.  We watched slide show after slide show!  It was so fun to watch those together Christmas night and remember and reminisce.  Henry was genuinely smiling and loving every minute of it.  Only the Lord could have known that three days later he would be gone.

At the end of January, we were able to go on a family vacation.  It was an awesome time away.  We went on a cruise to the Caribbean.  It was restful and we came back refreshed! 

God affirmed us about our adoption again on the cruise.  That he is WITH us and is so present in all of this.  We were laying by the pool the last day. Brian noticed a little African American boy by the pool with his Caucasion parents.  He commented and motioned for me to look and said, "hey that is going to be us someday."  I smiled and headed to get the rest of my stuff from the upper deck and when I got back, Brian was talking to the mom.  Turns out that they adopted their 3 year old son as a newborn, FROM THE SAME AGENCY IN GEORGIA THAT WE ARE GOING THROUGH!   We began sharing stories, I told her about losing Esther and how we got to where we are now.  I asked her how long it was from the start of their process to when their son was born.  She said that they started in February, and he was born on December 20th.  When she started saying December, I just knew that it was going to be the 20th.  As we calculated the date and his age, it turns out that he was born on the exact day that Esther went to Heaven, in 2010.  I was so floored!  3 years old, born on December 20, 2010.  What are the chances??  Well I know it is not a coincidence.  I know that God was affirming us and letting us know he was there with us and we were on the right track!  He is so good!

So we are excited.  Life has a way of bringing joy and pain.  Simultaneously.  Losing Brian's dad was hard, so painful, so many tears.  And yet another opportunity that God used to bring us closer to each other, and closer to Him.  An outpouring of love and support came from so many people as we walked through this hard time.  And we are being drawn to Him in the excitement of preparing to adopt a child(ren)!!!   We trust Him, we seek Him, and we wait on Him!!!


  1. I loved reading your story!
    i'll add you to my prayer 'list'. :)

  2. Thanks for the update Monica. Praying for you guys! Hugs

  3. Your story is amazing! Even though there were lots of ups and downs, you still managed to find the positive side to everything. Both of you really deserve to be happy, and I you find your baby soon. Well, there’s no doubt about that since you have a very helpful social worker, lawyer, family, and friends that support you all the way.