I have been struck with a few thoughts and prayers from a devotional I kinda stole from my cousin. Well I gave it back now, but I have had a chance to read some of them at random, and they really express my hearts desire. I wonder if you can relate as well?
From Come Away My Beloved......."I am the Lord your God. I know no limitations. I know no lack. I need not reserve My stores, for I always have a fresh supply. You can by no means ever exhaust My infinite resources. Let your heart run wild. Let your imagination go vagabond. No extravagance of the human thought can ever plumb the depths of My planning and provision for My children.
Rejoice, therefore, and face each day with joy; for I have planned ahead for you and made all necessary arrangements and reservations. I am your guide and benefactor. Put your hand in Mine."
Jesus has recently freed me, and continues to because it really is a daily thing, of some things I was wrestling with. I felt like it was hard to pray for our family and our desires to have another child. I wasn't sure if it was wrong to or not? I mean, if that is not what God has for us, then why would I want to pray for that? I became discouraged in that, and kind of stopped praying for a child. I am so thankful that I have so many friends and family who have and are standing in the gap and lifting us up, lifting me and my heart up to Jesus. THANK YOU! You know who you are.......... I have realized though that that is where the enemy would want me, to not pray for the desires of my heart. To even twist that, to keep me from going to Jesus. That is right where I need to be, in Jesus's arms! As I read this from the Lord, I was so encouraged, because I can't even possibly ASK for what He has planned for us, I have no idea. My human mind and heart cannot comprehend. I want what Jesus wants for our life! I trust Him, and I know He has plans and provision for us. Sometimes it feels like He does not, or that we have been forgotten, but I know that is not true. Just because His plan and timing is not my plan and timing, doesn't mean He is not God and is not still working! He has made all the necessary arrangements for each day for me. I want to live in the moment of each day, and I know I have said it before, but I don't want to miss what He has for me each day. But it is a struggle, as my eyes waver from HIM, and I begin to doubt. Much like Peter walking on water going out to meet Jesus. He began to sink when He took his eyes off and looked at the waves around Him. I know Jesus just wants my heart. My surrendered self all to Himself. I do not want any idols, or to desire anything but Him. When I am surrendered to Him, I feel so free! I desperately want what He wants for my life. To bring glory to himself and to draw others to HIM! I know He knows my heart, and so I will continue to pray for the making of our family. A dear friend told me last week, about when Jesus promised to Mary that she would carry the Savior of the world. Even with this promise, Mary responded, "May it be as you have said." The word may means, let it be yes or no, or a promise of a possibility. As I pray, I want to have the posture of Mary, to ask and believe, but hold it loosely, really as I should everything in my life! "Lord, whatever you want. This is my desire, but whatever you want, and whatever timing you have. Just give me the grace to walk through this!!" I am thankful that He does give us everything we need to walk the journeys we are on.
I want to not lack anything, I know that is what Jesus does in us through our suffering, through the refining process. Many times I want to scream, I don't want to be refined!!! It is hard and it is painful. But it is good. God knows us and LOVES us, and knows what the refining process will produce in us. Only the power of the Holy Spirit in us can take away the things in us that we humanly cannot do ourselves. To make us more Jesus-like, and that is what life is all about. To reflect Jesus and hopefully draw others to him. I want to be a true reflection..........
This last prayer from this awesome devo is SO where my
heart is today! I got up this am and ran really fast on my treadmill,
for me a 9:00 minute mile:) and worshiped the Lord as I ran!
"Grant this one prayer more, Lord, that You would give us all that is lacking in us; intensify our hunger and fire our devotion; take the indifference from our spirits; and have within us Your wonderful way and perfect will, O God, we pray; Amen."
"Lord, have within ME your wonderful way and perfect will............Amen, and Amen."
Love this so much Mo!!! I love walking along side of you both through this. Pleading with the father to grant you a little one. Just this saturday I was at a CPR class for my job and their was a room full of foster parents. There was one lady that had her four month old foster baby behind me. When I had a chance to talk to her and ask the story of this baby, my eyes filled with tears. Knowing right then and there God had confirmed in me "Rhonda, this is what I want you to do someday." This was a little guy born from a drug addicted mother who no longer wanted him. They got him at birth and are planning on adopting him soon. My heart was going to jump out of my chest. This boy was adorable. He wouldn't stop smiling at me.
ReplyDeleteI know God's plan is perfect. Its right around the corner for you and I. So thankful you can continue to learn and run to the Lord for refinement and healing. WE love you so much. Our Esther's are screaming and worshiping our Lord together right now!!! How cool is that!!! Also- way to go on continuing to run. I still haven't since the race, but hope to today!!!